gundamslut:

i wanna get more hickeys but my warrior’s instincts keep causing me to effortlessly dodge every bite and scratch with beastly precision

(via starjasmines)

evilwizard:

when pressed for comment on the matter the senator humbly asked for the American people to stare long and hard into the eye of his ruby amulet

(via hungwy)

slimetony:

my buddy (computer scientist) says they are making a computer that will die a natural death surrounded by loved ones . with a really good graphics card

(via txttletale)